Unencumbered
This week I started to re arrange my plate. I think my eyes were bigger then my stomach.
No decisions are easy so this week has been pretty tough. I am still working my way through. It seems to be a constant evaluation of where I am. I am not always happy with my appraisal. I think I was waiting for personal things to even themselves out. That could take awhile and I cant wait any longer. So they will need to be compartminlized along with everything else. If I take something out the time needs to re distributed. I am not shrinking responsibility or accountability. If I want to accomplish goals I have set for myself there may be casualties along the way. So the last two weeks I am breathing and walking down new paths. The view is terrific. This week I need to attach requirements’ to these new paths and I am sure it will be a good week.
Brady
Tuesday, July 13, 2010 |
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No idea where this going. I have so many thoughts and directions, my mind is controlling my brain right now. I never thought the mental would would surpass the physical in my process this year but it has. I am living in the now more then ever. But living in the now has also come at a price. I have started to slow my thoughts and block out negativity that surrounds me. I am reacting to negativity as it comes and this is new for me. I use to just bottle it and deal with after the bottle was full. Now I am dealing with as it comes up. This is uncomfortable for some people around me but it is helping me find my way. It has become less about requirements and more about hanging in there. This team is not like organised sports. There is no crowd cheering you on, no one to tag in to give you a rest. I relished that in the beginning but now find myself caught up in the head game of it all. The UBBT is enriching my life in every aspect. It has helped me make sense of everything that is happening to me right now. I am a very private person in many ways, but lately I have really started to share my feelings. Living in the now and sharing that with others has opened a whole new world for me. I am not afraid, happy or sad in the now. In the now I can be whatever I want.
AB is the now and its nice to just stop and breathe.
Walking meditation at boot camp was incredibly eye opening for me. I just never new that was possible.
Thank you Sifu Prince for the nudge. I needed it.
Brady Young
Sunday, July 04, 2010 |
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