Bread Crumbs
My real reason for blogging that I have stated before is to leave a trail of bread crumbs to follow if I get lost. So the last few weeks have been a challenge. My motivation stays strong but I have found myself confused and frustrated. I think I am working my way out of it but need to stay focused. I hit a plateau in my fitness which happened to coincide with a circuit malfunction in my brain. Left and right started to haunt me and my frustration mounted and compounded all my problems. Last Tuesday Fran pushed me to go to San Shou class and my mind set changed. I still had a frustrating wed. Class but then took two days off complete not thinking much about anything at all. Sunday I started my review from white to green. My forms where lost but now are found that is a little scary when they just go away and all of a sudden you don’t know you’re left from right. I was concentrating on green belt combinations for almost four weeks exclusively and messed myself up completely. Today I had a much better class and feel much better. I still continue to plateau and need to re focus body for life commitments. I set a goal in March for Sept 17th. And am still 17 pounds from there it will be very close.
My meditation is coming along very slowly. I really feel I can fully meditate for about three to five minutes. I constantly think about meditation and find myself not talking as much as normal. I don’t just engage in conversation just for the sake of conversation. I am very aware of my breathing and find myself thinking about breathing habitually. I am not able to clear my mind completely by any means but the biggest change is I can clear out over half of my thoughts. This is huge for me I have a very busy mind nothing really important or profound in there just busy. The only bad thing like I said is I am starting to be able to shut down and cut people out at work and at home. I will have to play with this a bit to find a very happy medium.
I hope I have left a marker for myself, so in the future I can re visit and say oh ya that’s what I should do or shouldn’t do. Always remember it is better to step back take a look then proceed. One step back two steps forward.
My real reason for blogging that I have stated before is to leave a trail of bread crumbs to follow if I get lost. So the last few weeks have been a challenge. My motivation stays strong but I have found myself confused and frustrated. I think I am working my way out of it but need to stay focused. I hit a plateau in my fitness which happened to coincide with a circuit malfunction in my brain. Left and right started to haunt me and my frustration mounted and compounded all my problems. Last Tuesday Fran pushed me to go to San Shou class and my mind set changed. I still had a frustrating wed. Class but then took two days off complete not thinking much about anything at all. Sunday I started my review from white to green. My forms where lost but now are found that is a little scary when they just go away and all of a sudden you don’t know you’re left from right. I was concentrating on green belt combinations for almost four weeks exclusively and messed myself up completely. Today I had a much better class and feel much better. I still continue to plateau and need to re focus body for life commitments. I set a goal in March for Sept 17th. And am still 17 pounds from there it will be very close.
My meditation is coming along very slowly. I really feel I can fully meditate for about three to five minutes. I constantly think about meditation and find myself not talking as much as normal. I don’t just engage in conversation just for the sake of conversation. I am very aware of my breathing and find myself thinking about breathing habitually. I am not able to clear my mind completely by any means but the biggest change is I can clear out over half of my thoughts. This is huge for me I have a very busy mind nothing really important or profound in there just busy. The only bad thing like I said is I am starting to be able to shut down and cut people out at work and at home. I will have to play with this a bit to find a very happy medium.
I hope I have left a marker for myself, so in the future I can re visit and say oh ya that’s what I should do or shouldn’t do. Always remember it is better to step back take a look then proceed. One step back two steps forward.
Monday, August 10, 2009 |
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