Time to face my demons so I can feel normal again. So I can look to future with excitement and positivity.
B
B
Saturday, December 04, 2010 |
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Unencumbered
This week I started to re arrange my plate. I think my eyes were bigger then my stomach.
No decisions are easy so this week has been pretty tough. I am still working my way through. It seems to be a constant evaluation of where I am. I am not always happy with my appraisal. I think I was waiting for personal things to even themselves out. That could take awhile and I cant wait any longer. So they will need to be compartminlized along with everything else. If I take something out the time needs to re distributed. I am not shrinking responsibility or accountability. If I want to accomplish goals I have set for myself there may be casualties along the way. So the last two weeks I am breathing and walking down new paths. The view is terrific. This week I need to attach requirements’ to these new paths and I am sure it will be a good week.
Brady
Tuesday, July 13, 2010 |
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No idea where this going. I have so many thoughts and directions, my mind is controlling my brain right now. I never thought the mental would would surpass the physical in my process this year but it has. I am living in the now more then ever. But living in the now has also come at a price. I have started to slow my thoughts and block out negativity that surrounds me. I am reacting to negativity as it comes and this is new for me. I use to just bottle it and deal with after the bottle was full. Now I am dealing with as it comes up. This is uncomfortable for some people around me but it is helping me find my way. It has become less about requirements and more about hanging in there. This team is not like organised sports. There is no crowd cheering you on, no one to tag in to give you a rest. I relished that in the beginning but now find myself caught up in the head game of it all. The UBBT is enriching my life in every aspect. It has helped me make sense of everything that is happening to me right now. I am a very private person in many ways, but lately I have really started to share my feelings. Living in the now and sharing that with others has opened a whole new world for me. I am not afraid, happy or sad in the now. In the now I can be whatever I want.
AB is the now and its nice to just stop and breathe.
Walking meditation at boot camp was incredibly eye opening for me. I just never new that was possible.
Thank you Sifu Prince for the nudge. I needed it.
Brady Young
Sunday, July 04, 2010 |
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Need to focus with a little more intent. Its right there all time. I have heard from others on the team from last year that the summer is the toughest time to train and remain focused. I never thought I would really have a problem with the time of year. Due to some major changes in my life I find myself lacking that next gear, but its right there. With major change comes inspiration that I am starting to tap into. I am about to start the third quarter of the process. The second quarter had many success and many failures, the third is going to be riddled with success. I am sure I have a break through in my training and cant wait to explore it further. The true constant is my regular Monday and Wednesday morning class. I have only missed 3 classes since my last vacation in November. That class really is the glue that holds it all together for me. That class never allows me to stray to far from the path. Cant wait for Monday…
Brady
Sunday, June 06, 2010 |
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The weeks are not getting any easier but are making more sense. The week started with work related outings and have ended in sickness. No classes Monday and then by mid week issues with breathing means lack of training. I did get an hour in yesterday, much needed. Will need a new focus next week starting with class on Monday and a good run after. Many personal changes going on and because of UBBT I think I am seeing much more clearly. My understanding of self has never been greater. This week the major topic of discussion in my circles (small circle) was beginnings middle and ends. I have chosen to start to only deal with beginnings and middles the end will be the result of those two. Its time to put the past in the past and move on. The now is pretty good. My sickness will past and each day is a new one. Looking forward to a great week on so many levels.
"Like a rollin' thunder chasing the wind
Forces pullin' from the center of the earth again
I can feel it"
Forces pullin' from the center of the earth again
I can feel it"
Live
Brady
Friday, May 28, 2010 |
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Right now I feel like I am on the outside looking in. For the first three months I was on the inside looking out. Due to life getting in the way I feel as if I have a cape of secrecy on. One thing I thought I was not going to have any issue was blogging. Most of the time blogging is about reflection and goal setting. At this time I am living it and not ready to reflect on it. It has been mentioned that at times UBBT members feel alone without direction. I have never felt that if anything I feel there is always something or someone to refer to. I asked a fellow UBBT member that I really look up to how his UBBT was going. He looked at me and smiled and said OK. That's exactly how I felt. Then as the day has gone on and I analyze my process the better I feel about it. It is way better then OK. It actually is pretty great I am never without a next step. I am never without direction I have twenty others that inspire me regularly whether they know it or not. Sure there are things I am have failed at or am going to fail, but its the hidden realizations and procces that truly is moving me forward. Brady Young
Wednesday, May 19, 2010 |
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